The Tiny Screen

Not Again!

Sasha Stone
Mirror staff writer
  
   Here it is, 2003, and we’re all still wondering, why in hell do they bother giving out Emmy awards, if all they’re going to do is give them to the same people every year? Really, what is the point? Why, for instance, would anyone give Doris Roberts the Emmy for Supporting Actress three years in a row? What can this possibly accomplish? Moreover, how can Emmy voters sleep at night?
   To be fair, it isn’t Veteran Comedienne Roberts’ fault that everyone keeps voting for her, just as it wasn’t Helen Hunt’s fault or Candice Bergen’s. It’s the fault of the Emmys themselves, the nature of the beast – if a show is popular, the voters run like lemmings to vote for the same people and shows year after year after year.
   Perhaps worse than voting for the same people is watching the same people get up there and make the same speeches every year. We viewers do it to ourselves – though one suspects that even if we all suddenly decided to stop watching, the awards would go on. If a repeat Emmy was handed out and no one was there to see it, did it really happen? Yes, it really did. Yes, Doris Roberts. Yes, everybody STILL loves Raymond.
   The 55th Annual Emmy telecast did offer up a few surprises — though not in the winners (how it’s possible that “The West Wing” could beat “The Sopranos” or even “Six Feet Under” for Best Drama again is beyond human comprehension), but rather in the live entertainment – particularly bits from comedians Jon Stewart and Conan O’Brian, who elevated the show from empty self-congratulation to valid entertainment. Stewart gave out his own “awards” to the news media, poking fun in particular at Fox News for its hysteria reporting and sensationalist war coverage. By the way, Stewart and his team of writers picked up two well-deserved Emmys for Best Variety Program and Writing for a Variety Program, beating out late night veterans, Dave, Jay, Conan and Saturday Night Live.
   What didn’t work so well were the jokes du jour. The most parodied topics included Britney/Madonna kiss (Why can’t it just be over now?) and Bennifer. First, no one could get enough of Jen and Ben. Now, the story has turned a corner and if people weren’t sick of Jen and Ben then, they’re sick of ’em now. Their soap opera relationship is the stuff hurried writers’ impromptu shtick is made on.
   Speaking of shtick, whomever’s idea it was to have Wanda Sykes parade around with a microphone dressing down the guests with her crabby monologues of “girlfriend”-speak ought to be immediately fired. The moment she opened her mouth, it became a global embarrassment, which was punctuated briefly but profoundly when Bill Cosby scowled at her and said softly but emphatically that he (unlike she) “spoke English.”
   The Wanda moment will be forever sealed in our collective unconscious, like the Rob Lowe/Snow White dance at the Oscars all those years ago. Now that Lowe has a fancy new series on the horizon (“The Lyon’s Den” on NBC premiering this week) he hopes that most of us have forgotten that he was once a little bit rock n’ roll at an awards show and it very nearly derailed his career. Some of us will never, can never, forget.
   Post Emmys the California gubernatorial recall is now officially a farce. Every joke that didn’t refer to Madonna and Britney or Bennifer had to do with the plethora of gubernatorial candidates. Arnold was impersonated by Saturday Night Live’s Darrel Hammond (“and all of this kind of stuff”), who also did a well-studied, but much less funny, Donald Rumsfeld.
   But the real winner of the night was Stewart, who not only outclassed the joint but also delivered the most fitting commentary of the evening, as he poked fun at cable news: “We celebrate news for becoming us. Mindless entertainment whores.”
   Speaking of mindless entertainment whores, one suspects that the travesty of Emmy voters choosing Doris Roberts (talented as she is) over Cynthia Nixon -- who did such fine, fine work in “Sex and the City” this year -- will sting for quite some time to come. And, although it is on nowhere near the same scale, that “The Amazing Race” managed to prevail over the two more popular reality shows, “American Idol” and “Survivor,” is another head-scratcher.
   CBS hadn’t renewed “The Amazing Race” for another season when it up and surprised everyone by winning the Emmy. At the podium, producer Jerry Bruckheimer waved his Emmy at the camera and said, “CBS are you watching?” We’ll see.

Emmy winners in Major Categories:
  
   Drama Series: “The West Wing,” NBC.
   Comedy Series: “Everybody Loves Raymond,” CBS.
   Variety, Music or Comedy Series: “The Daily Show With Jon Stewart,”
   Comedy Central.
   Made-for-TV Movie: “Door to Door,” TNT.
   Variety, Music or Comedy Special: “Cher - The Farewell Tour,” NBC.
   Reality-Competition Program: “The Amazing Race,” CBS.
   Actor, Drama Series: James Gandolfini, “The Sopranos,” HBO.
   Actor, Comedy Series: Tony Shalhoub, “Monk,” USA.
   Actress, Drama Series: Edie Falco, “The Sopranos,” HBO.
   Actress, Comedy Series: Debra Messing, “Will & Grace,” NBC.
   Supporting Actor, Drama Series: Joe Pantoliano, “The Sopranos,” HBO.
   Supporting Actor, Comedy Series: Brad Garrett, “Everybody Loves
   Raymond,” CBS.
   Supporting Actress, Drama Series: Tyne Daly, “Judging Amy,” CBS.
   Supporting Actress, Comedy Series: Doris Roberts, “Everybody Loves
   Raymond,” CBS.
   Bob Hope Humanitarian Award: Bill Cosby.
   Who will win next year’s Emmys? (Now, don’t be so cynical!) The networks premiere the bulk of their new show’s this week – see listings below.

This Week’s Notable Television

   Thursday, September 25
   Friends, the final season premieres “after Joey and Rachel kissed.” Here we go…, 8 p.m., NBC.
   Survivor Pearl Island, who will get naked this week? 8 p.m., CBS.
   CSI, season premiere, 9 p.m., CBS.
   Wide Angle, examines human trafficking, 9 p.m., KCET.
   Without a Trace, season premiere, 10 p.m., CBS.
  
   Friday, September 26
   Jaws (****), 8 p.m., AMC.
   Minority Report (***), 8 p.m., HBO.
   Miss Match, new series, 8 p.m., NBC.
   Gubernatorial Debate, such as it is, 10 p.m., KCET.
   The Handler, new series starring Joey Pantoliano – as a good guy, 10 p.m., CBS.
  
   Saturday, September 27
   Jerry Maguire (***), show me the money! 8 p.m., NBC.
   Little Mermaid II: Return to the Sea (***), 8 p.m., DISNEY.
   Remember the Titans (***), 8 p.m., ABC.
   Lili (****), 9 p.m., TCM.
   Zorba the Greek (***), 9 p.m., KCET.
  
   Sunday, September 28
   10-8, new cop dramedy premieres, 8 p.m., ABC.
   There’s Something About Mary (***), 8 p.m., FOX.
   Alias, season premiere, 9 p.m., ABC.
   The Practice, season premiere with a revamped cast, 10 p.m., ABC.
   The Lyon’s Den, the new Rob Lowe series, 10 p.m., NBC.
  
   Monday, September 29
   Dazed and Confused (***), 8 p.m., COMEDY.
   The Messenger: The Story of Joan of Ark, 8 p.m., BRAVO.
   Scent of a Woman (***), 8 p.m., AMC.
   Yankee Doodle Dandy (****), 8 p.m., TCM.
   Third Watch, season premiere, 9 p.m., NBC.
  
   Tuesday, September 30
   Dumbo (****), 8 p.m., DIS.
   The Blues, the series, produced by Martin Scorsese, begins, 9 p.m., KCET.
   Murder (1938) (***), 9 p.m., TCM.
   Good Morning Miami, season premiere, 9:30 p.m., NBC.
   The Mullets, series premiere, 9:30 p.m., UPN.
  
   Wednesday, October 1
   The Blues, continues, 9 p.m., PBS.
   It Happened One Night (****), Gable and Colbert, 9:30 p.m., TCM.
   The Brotherhood of Poland New Hampshire, new series from David E. Kelly, 10 p.m., CBS.
   Karen Sisco, based on Elmore Leonard’s tough gal, 10 p.m., ABC.