Jaywalking on Sunshine

Steve Stajich
Mirror contributing writer

   Whatever happened to Katrina and the Waves? I can imagine Katrina doing some things now, but as a former “Wave” it might be hard to get bookings. Still, their 1985 hit “Walking on Sunshine” is working overtime in TV commercials. Elton John sings “I remember when rock was young…” I might sing, “I remember when rock wasn’t selling nasal spray.”
   Was “Walking on Sunshine” an LSD reference? I’ve come to believe that between, say, 1967 and 1985, everything was an LSD reference. The yellow smiley face, acid indigestion, win a trip for two, every third thing out of Bob Hope’s mouth… It got so you couldn’t keep up. Remember that period where everything was either an acid reference or a symbol of Satan? For a while, the moon logo for Proctor and Gamble was seen as some kind of devil sign. Or there was acid in Crest toothpaste… I forget. If there was acid in Crest toothpaste, then surely there was a related surge in satanic behavior.
   I bring it up because maybe Los Angeles needs to borrow that song and change it. Change it to “I’m jaywalking on sunshine, whoa whoa… and don’t it feel good.” No, it don’t. Because there’s been a startling rise in pedestrian deaths in the city of Los Angeles. An increase of 51 percent after a four-year decline. There were 107 pedestrian deaths in the city of Los Angeles last year.
   Santa Monica, with less than a fifth of the daytime population of Los Angeles, had four pedestrian fatalities in 2001, and none involving bicycles. Small numbers are small consolation to the families who are devestated by a pedestrian death, but our city is “aggressive” in improving pedestrian safety, according to spokesman Lt. Frank Fabrega of the SMPD. Fabrega points out that police in Santa Monica are encouraged to enforce pedestrian violations. “There’s no match” between a car and a pedestrian, Fabrega emphasizes.
   I’m not sure LA residents got that memo. And Santa Monica should always try harder. Still, it doesn’t seem possible that there could be that much confusion between drivers and pedestrians regarding safe behavior. I’m afraid it’s something much worse: That distinctly SoCal syndrome, the attitude problem. And it has three component parts.
   Part One: Do people on foot take “pedestrian right of way” to mean they can charge into traffic wherever and whenever they like? The defense for that behavior is weak: It’s too much trouble to walk to the corner and cross at the signal. But observe many of those who do bolt into traffic in the middle of the block. Is it me or… do they look like they have “a right,” a traffic-stopping entitlement?
   One can often get the distinct feeling that people who are jaywalking have somehow figured out that this behavior is not only smart, it’s correct. It’s logical, because only a chump would bother to add as much as 12 seconds to his schedule by walking to the corner and waiting to cross with the signal. Only a moron would do that sheep routine, when a real Angeleno knows he is entitled to create chaos and danger by bolting out into traffic.
   Part Two: Pedestrians creating havoc when jaywalking think they are not vulnerable. Put it together: You get up in the morning and your agent tells you you’re a genius. You drive to a “meeting” that’s going to be all about you, and on your way there you’re sitting 12 feet off the ground, literally above everyone else in a Truckasaurus with leather seats that was built in a foreign land. Arriving at your destination, a deferential person in a red vest bows and takes your keys. Then you realize you want to cross the street and get a pack of gum before the meeting. What, a mere on-coming car is going to ruin your day? Did a car bring down Thor or Vulcan or any of the other Gods?
   Part Three: We don’t care. We want what we want when we want it. If we want to get across the street, we’re going to “go for it” because that’s what we want. That why many people move to Southern California, to finally get what they want. Or deserve. (See “Gods,” above) Ask a cop how many times someone’s explanation of why he just executed a life-threatening pedestrian or traffic move begins with the words “Look, tomorrow is my kid’s birthday and I’ve got 75 people coming over to the house…” Then what follows is, essentially, “So that’s why I put my own life and the lives of those around me in jeopardy. You can understand that, can’t you?”
  Actually, I can’t. Law enforcement officials and pedestrian advocates alike are at a loss to explain the recent Los Angeles numbers, but police say that jaywalking continues to be a huge problem. The tragic running of a red light, the event of the sun getting in someone’s eyes, the simple mistake; there’s a level of perhaps inevitable tragedy that will always be with us because not everyone can make exactly the right decision every single time with the thousands of decisions that constitute driving.
   Still, too many people in “SoCal” get in a car when they have things they should be working out. On their backs, on a couch near a qualified listener. I’ve heard it more than once: “In New York, the crazy people are on the streets. In Los Angeles, they’re in cars.”
   Santa Monica has redone busy intersection corners to make perfectly clear the walkways for pedestrians. To say, visually, “Watch Out: Humans Crossing.” And then there are the more experimental blinking light crosswalks, which I personally find empowering. It’s as though Darth Vader is about to cross the street. It certainly gives every indication that people are trying new things to save lives.
   And since they are, we have to try harder. A lot of jaywalking is about laziness. Just go to the corner. Get a few extra steps of exercise instead of contributing more chaos to a metropolis that already has plenty. As far as the driving goes, we live in a land where superhumans believe that operating a two-ton vehicle demands simultaneous phone conversation. Who am I to impugn the Gods?

This Week’s “Know Your News” Quiz

1) Kirk Kerkorian now claims
   a) he is not the father of his daughter.
   b) DNA links him to OJ.
   c) his own zygote landed in Roswell in 1947.
2) A global network of computer nerds
   a) is a very scary thought.
   b) is concerned about hair loss.
   c) pirates software and DVD programs.
3) President Bush is seeking ways
   a) to use Social Security for ‘scratcher’ tickets.
   b) to obtain staggering defense spending.
   c) to get staff to reveal where Cheney is.

Answer Key

(a) “And this hair wasn’t my idea, either!”
(c) “So, we’re pirates, and Microsoft is…?”
(b) “Which is bigger, a billion or a trillion?”