Out of the Ether and into a Sports Bar

Chris Chandler
Special to the Mirror

   Times are good for Laker fanatics, and by fanatics I mean people for whom merely watching the game is not enough. I’m talking the hard core Laker junkies. Because the Lakers are in their second straight NBA Finals, coverage is everywhere. Radio talk shows are full of Laker fans, even the national shows have to cover the Lakers, and you can’t go anywhere around town without seeing lots of those purple and gold flags. But what if that’s not enough?
   Of course, the World Wide Web contains an abundance of informational resources. You can read the coverage in all the nation’s major newspapers, watch video replays and hear in-depth analysis at the official NBA site or one of the many sports-oriented news sites. With a little extra effort you can find downloadable stats for every player and every game for the last ten years, or discover the “unofficial” contract size and length for most players in the league. But what if just reading still won’t do it? What if you need to discuss the Lakers? Or rather, what if your friends and family have grown weary of discussing the Lakers, and you need to do it some more? Luckily, there is more to the Internet than the Web.
   For the last five years, I have been a regular in the alt.sports.basketball. nba.la-lakers newsgroup, or “asbnll” as we call it. Asbnll is a Usenet community, based on an old-school protocol for Internet discussion. It works similarly to those discussion boards you see on web-sites nowadays, but it’s been around a lot longer than the web. There are over 25,000 newsgroups, discussing topics from gardening, to kibology, to sports — it’s the greatest experiment in free speech ever conceived, and when I say free speech, I mean it.
   The core group in asbnll are Lakers fans from around the world, who come together to discuss all things Laker — from Laker history, to NBA rules, to game strategy to personnel moves — often in minute detail. In fact, since asbnll is an un-moderated forum, everything is fair game, (although it’s considered polite to mark your off-topic posts so people can filter them out.) In addition to long running arguments about ex-Laker Glen Rice, or current Laker Derek Fisher, the group has also had hotly contested debates on the recent presidential election and the California power crisis. A short list of current discussions in the group include: “1983 Sixers vs. 2001 Lakers,” “Is there an NBA/NBC conspiracy?” and, “Yo Iverson, you got a pancreas?”
   The anonymous nature of the Usenet creates a kind of free space. Things are said in the group that would probably lead to a brawl in face-to-face situations. I know I am much more aggressive and obnoxious online than in “real life.” I delight in nitpicking argumentation and putdowns, and I’m always looking for the big laugh. In fact, aside from our love of the Lakers, the only other thing that comes close to being a common denominator for asbnll regulars is the urge to tag someone for a big laugh — most of us were probably class clowns.
   Usenet “etiquette” generally requires that posts be sent to a single group, but sports newsgroups have a long-standing history of cross-posting, or sending messages to multiple groups. Not surprisingly, right now there are a lot of discussions/arguments/woofing taking place between the Lakers group and the Philadelphia 76ers newsgroup (alt. sports.basketball.nba.phila-76ers). It’s a bit chaotic, because there’s no easy way to tell who is coming from which group, but it’s also a lot of fun.
   Online arguments can quickly devolve into “flame wars” – rancorous exchanges between two or more people that generally have little to do with anything — and our group has had its fair share of such silliness. It’s a given that followers of other teams are fanning the flame by posting in asbnll, but there are also a lot of vehement disagreements and running battles between long-standing members of the group.
   During the NBA Finals last year, a group of regulars decided to organize a flesh and blood meeting of members. It was a big success, so we decided to do it again during Game 3 of the NBA Finals. Last Sunday, in the sports bar at the Irvine Marriott, I met some of the guys I’ve only known on-screen for years. Bozak, Warpedabit, Larry, Laurance, Ben, Alson, Bill, Jason. I’m happy to report that no punches were thrown, despite the incredibly harsh words that have passed between some of us over the years. 
   I’ll admit to being a little apprehensive about meeting one particular poster – Bozak. He and I have had a running gun battle on the group about a particular Laker, Derek Fisher. Bozak hates Fisher (well, he says he “hates the game” not the “player.”), while I think he’s a perfectly good role player for a team that some would say already has one too many stars -- thanks to the “this gym isn’t big enough for the both of us” relationship between Kobe Bryant and Shaquille O’Neal. Anyway, any tension about our online sparring was dispelled in the first few moments – Bozak and I shook hands as we introduced ourselves and even shared a good-natured embrace. During the game, the same old arguments broke out, with Bozak at one end of the table shouting “Fisher SUCKS” every time Iverson drove around him, while I chanted “FISH! FISH! FISH!” every time Derek made a good play.
   None of that mattered in the fourth quarter, as we paced nervously and nursed our drinks while watching the Lakers nurse a small lead – it was obvious we’d all been bitten by the same bug.   Thankfully the Lakers won, and there were smiles and pats on the back all around as we parted, with a few of us discussing the possibility of a “sharking” expedition on Laurance’s boat this summer. As I drove away, I wondered if I’d be able to flame these guys now that I knew what they looked like. Luckily Warpedabit beat me home and posted something really dumb – Flame On!