Costco’s More Costly The Second Time Around

Laurie Cohn
Mirror contributing writer

   This past weekend I unexpectedly went to Costco for only the second time ever. My husband, Michael, and I needed to be at his office, near the monolithic Culver City store, and so his dad met us and off to Costco we, the happy trio, went. We actually arrived moments before the doors opened, and laughed at the line outside the door. It felt like we were at Disneyland, waiting for the Magic Kingdom to open. People were lined up, oversized grocery carts at the ready, Costco membership cards in hand. If you weren’t prepared to do some serious shopping, it was best to get out of the way now. 
   When I went with a friend to Costco last fall, I only bought dishtowels, so I knew I could resist the temptation of lovely goods at low prices. Then again, we did need a few things around the house. Michael’s dad, Carl, wanted a few things, so he went off, meticulously finding the few items he would cart home in his SUV. We started to roam the aisles. Michael needed aspirin for the office. We found a moderately-sized bottle of 750 pills, certainly enough to last his employees a few weeks. 
   On to the toilet paper and tissues. There’s nothing worse than running out of either, and we’ve had close calls lately with both. All those out-of-town friends and relatives sure go to the bathroom a lot. We bought a 24-pack of toilet paper. As for the tissues, I went through about one box a day on my honeymoon, due to a never-ending runny nose, so we bought an 8-pack, just in case.
   We should have stopped there. Within minutes, our cart was filled with laundry detergent, plastic garbage bags, cleaning supplies, and sponges, all obscenely large quantities. The fun was just beginning. I’ve been wanting a new trashcan for the kitchen, because what we’ve been using is beyond disgusting. I dread opening the lid, and wash my hands anytime I need to touch it. Costco had a very stylish stainless steel wastebasket that had a pedal at the bottom to open the lid. I would never have to touch a filthy garbage can lid again. Michael, however, doesn’t like the look of it, and has insisted on keeping the old one in the garden. Whatever!
   Oh, there’s more. A few mini-DVD discs so we can copy our wedding video, toothbrushes, and an 11-piece toolkit for the kitchen including a pizza slicer, can opener, and large spoons, which, funnily enough was similar to something we registered for and one of the few presents we didn’t receive. We skipped the big ticket items, such as electronics and computers, since we have everything we need, and added a few additional small things before heading to the checkout counter. 
   While emptying our large cart of large items, I played a game with Michael that my mom and I always had fun with when I was a kid. We guessed how much the total was going to be. I went first, saying $225. Michael, certainly the one in the family more familiar and better with numbers, guessed around $190. The total was $224.42. Boy, was I pleased with myself. I felt like I should have won a prize of some sort, but, alas, my new 6-pack of cotton rounds would have to suffice. 
   It was over before we knew it. How could the rest of the day compare to buying an inexpensive industrial size bottle of Windex? We tried by heading over to the Marina del Rey Garden Center where we did even more damage. That time it wasn’t for us, for the most part, but lots of plants and pots to give to my mom for Mother’s Day. We bought impatiens, begonias, cosmos, alyssum, and lobelias and my gardener-at-heart husband laid out the combinations in six pots which the store put together beautifully. He did break down and buy two large Star Jasmines for us, which thrilled me to no end because those particular Jasmine are one of my favorite plants. They smell divine, and now is the time of the year they’re blooming. 
   All this shopping and the marine layer hadn’t even lifted yet. I do think I could turn into a Costco junkie without too much effort. Maybe I should quit cold turkey now, before a problem ensues. Or perhaps I should just wait a few months until we’re out of some supplies and we can spend another Saturday morning being consumers. After all, isn’t that the American way?