Hey, Who's Driving This Thing?

Steve Stajich
Mirror contributing writer

   G. Gordon Liddy is a funny guy. You can't really tell when he's kidding and when he's not. 
   I think that when he led a "covert op" to steal property on behalf of a corrupt President, he wasn't kidding. He meant every minute of it. 
Since then, it's been hard to tell. 
   He's had a shaved head to look intimidating since way before it was the trendy thing to do. But despite the props we might give him as a fashion leader, he's mostly squandered his 15 minutes, making outrageous statements about government and himself. Squandered it in the modern way, which is to shovel enough BS to end up with a radio talk show. 
   But there was a time when he was charismatic, because Watergate was still a fresh slap in the face and he had been one of its more charming players. At that time, I heard him speak, and he offered one thing that stayed with me. It was a set of three myths or misconceptions that Americans embrace. I've forgotten the other two, but the one that was "sticky" was that Americans believe that at any one time, no matter how mixed up or goofy things seem in Washington, D.C., somebody responsible has his hands on the steering wheel of government. 
   Last week we were looking at pictures of steering wheels. They were, specifically, shots of the drivers' seats on the U.S. submarine Greeneville. As of this writing, it seems that tourists, civilian guests on board the submarine, might have been in or near those seats when the sub surfaced and sliced through the hull of a Japanese fishing vessel. 
   The U.S. military is a small country within our country. It has its own leaders ensconced in the gigantic capital building, if you will, of the Pentagon. While still mere mortals, these are mortals that make decisions on things like nuclear weapons, "smart bombs," aircraft carriers that are essentially floating cities, and the sending to death of young men and women who toil in earnest in our military. 
   So it is only reasonable to hope, if not assume, that at any one time somebody responsible has his hands on the steering wheels of our armed forces. Reruns of "Gomer Pyle USMC" aside, one certainly wants to put one's head on the pillow at night presuming that knowledgeable and responsible people are at the helm of the mighty tools of American defense.
   But military accidents, which may or may not have some correlation to the amount of peacetime we enjoy, always give us pause. They dent that shiny image we have of a well-oiled machine operating with state-of-the-art technology. It's the feeling that is meant to be engendered by all those keen-looking armed forces recruitment commercials on television. 
   We forget that these are humans operating heavy equipment and they are vulnerable as we are to making human mistakes. The Navy had its own reasons for encouraging civilian guests to be on board a sub, just as many of us have what we think are good reasons for driving our four-ton SUVs at 65 miles an hour with one hand while arguing with our spouses on a cell phone. 
   But in both those cases, there's still an overriding element of responsibility. And I'm going to take a kind of columnist leap here to say that we're in sad shape if we are somehow moving away from responsibility and accountability and letting things get fuzzy more often than not. Fuzzy, say, in finding out exactly what caused the electric power "crisis." Or who caused it, exactly. (What caused it might be greed. Just a guess on my part...) Or in parenting. Or in the impacts of violent and hurtful content in our entertainment. Or in allowing unfettered development to eat what's left of the charm of our own city of Santa Monica....no matter how ersatz European they make that Target store. 
   This last election may have eroded Liddy's "myth" in the minds of many Americans. At times it felt as though the curtain had been pulled back and we saw that our systems of government were not locked in smooth synchronized gear drive the way we'd like to believe. Instead it was more like the bureaucracy represented in the movie "Brazil." Questions just led to more questions. Who was that witch in Florida that thought she could simply announce that the ballot counting was over? What power does the Florida Supreme Court have, exactly? What power does the U.S. Supreme Court have, exactly? Hey, who's driving this thing?
   It's a two way street. We need to care about knowing. We have a responsibility as citizens not to tune out and flip over to the scandal channel or the entertainment effluvia channel instead of monitoring the reforms. The legacy of our last election would be a great step for the country if it results in reforms that return the full power of voting in a democracy to the people, all the people, of this country.
   George Bush and the Republican Party wanted this Presidency so badly they bent us over backwards to get it. My response would be to insist that Bush now be at least a halfway decent "driver" of the vehicle America. Much is made of Americans yelping about entitlements, but here's one thing we are entitled to: Safe, conscientious "drivers." Of our laws, our elections, our powerful military weaponry. It's right and proper to ask, "What happened?" and get a full answer. Be it the election, the submarine accident, the Gulf War Syndrome, the sale of arms to fund the Contras...uh, how much time have you got? 
   For, in America, we curb irresponsible driving. For example, drive drunk, and you get busted. We can take comfort in the fact that within our government, at least the White House is in touch with this aspect of responsibility. 

This Week's "Know Your News" Quiz

(1) In the glimmer of Oscar nominations, the Loews and Edwards cinemas have
   (a) filed for Chapter 11.
   (b) started cutting the popcorn with 
   "Popcorn Helper."
   (c) introduced the new 80 oz. 
   "Beverage Pail."

(2) President Bush went to Mexico because
   (a) it was a sure bet nothing would 
   happen.
   (b) as a former Texan, he knew 
   where it was. 
   (c) to observe American 
   manufacturing, you go where it is.
   (d) all of the above.

(3) The reopening of the Sherman Oaks Galleria
   (a) is like totally...something.
   (b) worries merchants on Ventura 
   Boulevard.
   (c) eerily coincides with another 
   Bush in the White House.

Answer Key

(1) (a) Oh, Moviegoer, Where Art Thou?
(2) (d) Ole'.
(3) (b) Oh, for sure.