Three Day Rule Founder Changes The Way Of Online Dating In LA

Thursday, 6 Mar 2014, 9:17:00 AM

Anthea Kerou

Anthea Kerou, Columnist
Santa Monica Mirror Archives
Anthea Kerou, Columnist

Are you ready to have more love in your life? Then you need to log onto the Three Day Rule online dating website. I sat down with a candid conversation with Three Day Rule’s owner Talia Goldstein to find out all her love secrets!

Talia figured out that all girls have a type: The Surfer, The Agent, The Stable Indie Rocker, etc, and they don’t tend to hang out in the same bars.

She said Three Day Rule started as a ‘Citysearch for Girls’ to find their favorite type of guy.

It quickly evolved to hosting singles events at hip bars and restaurants all around town.

Talia’s talent for bringing singles together eventually lead her to quit her day job and focus on love full time.

She added personal one-on-one matchmaking to Three Day Rule.

To scale up the dating pool, she added an exclusive online dating site where only the  best 25 percent of the applicants are accepted to the site.

Anthea: What’s the secret to matchmaking? How do you know if someone will make a good match? Is it intuition, or are you looking for specific qualities in the person?

Talia: It’s a combination of intuition, and the technology we’ve built on the Three Day Rule.

Everyone has a type, when you go back and look at their exes you find that their facial structure is very similar, so we added on facial recognition to the back end of our site.

It’s not the only way we filter our matches but it helps narrow it down. It’s changing our lives to have this great technology to speed up the process.

Also it’s truly listening to them and finding out the values that really matter. We meet everyone in person so we’ve already vetted the match for them.

Anthea: What’s the number one thing that guys are looking for when they come to you for matchmaking?

Talia: I love working with guys because they know what they want!

They usually know their physical type, and they most of the time want someone intelligent, and ambitious yet they don’t care whatsoever what she does for a living. They are mostly looking for someone who is passionate about something because they feel that she won’t be needy if she has her own life. And they want somebody nurturing and warm. At the end of the day they want a nice wife, someone who could be a good mom, and someone they respect.

We always ask to see photos of their exes to see what physical type they usually choose. And then girls want a lot more. They come with a long list of things they are looking for. So it’s about finding out what’s truly important to them. Because at the end of the day the most important thing is finding a nice guy, someone who really adores you.

Anthea: Do you think the superficiality gets in the way?

Talia: Yes. It’s always a red flag when I ask them what they want and the first thing they say is ‘hot.’

Anthea: Why do you think it is that women don’t really know as clearly what we want?

Talia: We are more complicated creatures, and we really want it all.

We see these romantic movies with Prince Charming. And we feel that we deserve that perfect guy, but nobody’s perfect. And that’s not going to make you happy in 70 years. What will really make you happy is finding a good partner who really loves you and who you have the same interests as. Also what’s great about girls is that attraction grows for us, so you can meet someone who is a great, nice guy that you might not be attracted to right away, and then suddenly start feeling chemistry later on.

I try to encourage the girls that if they find a nice guy to give him a shot of a few more dates. It’s so hard to have sparks on the first date, not to judge it by chemistry only. We tell them to keep the dates low pressure and short at first.

Anthea: How do you decide who gets accepted into Three Day Rule site?

Talia: It’s based on desirability, but it’s also based on the current pool. We want to make sure we have enough compatible matches for our members. We look for busy professionals who are well rounded and looking for a serious relationship. So you could be amazing but if you’re looking for a fling you’re not going to be a match for our site. We wanted to weed out the people that we really wouldn’t date.

Anthea: What happens at Three Day Rule events?

Talia: It’s so low pressure, it’s fun. We just had a sold out event at Soul Cycle where we had tons of prizes, we do a lot of raffles and giveaways. We try to give them as much free stuff as we can, free drinks, and appetizers. We have bigger events with hundreds of people, and also smaller more intimate events like wine tasting.

Anthea: What’s your advice for meeting new people at the events?

Talia: Everyone needs specific advice based on what their issues are, but as a dater in general just to be proactive, approachable and friendly. Especially for the girls. I think some girls are really traditional, and I agree you should be traditional, but after the initial meeting. Don’t be in the corner with your girlfriends waiting for someone to approach you. So go up and talk to someone who seems interested. So reach out to someone and see if they're interested and then you can take a step back after if you’re traditional. Further on in the dating process it would be good for women to really think about what they are looking for and pick the top three most important things to look for.

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