The Dating Report: Dealing With Stigmas

Wednesday, 8 Jan 2014, 9:07:00 AM

Anthea Kerou

Anthea Kerou, Columnist
Santa Monica Mirror Archives
Anthea Kerou, Columnist

Hi Anthea,

At what point should a man tell someone that he has, had, or is still having psychotherapy? I think I’m a lot better now and hate to tell half-truths. – Ted, 57

Hi Ted!

Thank you for your question.

This is certainly a serious topic and one that requires deep reflection. I have to ask: What does your therapist say is an appropriate action to take? Since he or she knows you on a personal and deep level.

In modern days there is a lot less of a stigma around therapy compared to the past. In my experience my most self assured, centered, thoughtful, and successful friends have all gone through extensive therapy.

Could the therapy result in producing high achieving emotionally intelligent people? Possibly, or it could be that people who have an interest in pursuing personal development are inherently more mindful.

At the same time it really isn’t anyone’s business how you choose to spend your private personal development time. Unless the therapy is court ordered, related to a crime, or there is the possibility of hurting yourself or others I see no reason to feel you have to tell anyone.

It’s true that there are judgmental people in this world and we don’t have to bare our soul to someone who may not be trustworthy or safe. If we are going through a fragile period in our lives it’s important to take the time to start to know someone and trust them before sharing super sensitive information.

In regards to any personal challenges you’ve had in the past, the best way to frame it is by showing what you’ve learned through the process. It’s not what happens to you – it’s how you learn from it that really matters.

Anthea Kerou is a Certified Holistic Health Coach based in Santa Monica specializing in datingcoaching. She is available for private coaching sessions, email Alternatively, visit or for more information.

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